The Pac-12 managed to place seven teams in bowl games this season, and all but one (Oregon) are underdogs. Yikes. And it’s not difficult to envision a scenario where the conference goes 0-and-7 and we spend the off-season hearing jokes about the Pac-12 being dropped from BCS automatic qualifier status. Double yikes.

So with that nightmare scenario on the table, let’s see if we can make some money off of these seven games. Oh, and in honor of the trailer for The Hobbit dropping this week—I have to wait a whole year to watch this movie?!? Noooo!—let’s rate the games on the Hobbit watchability scale, where five Hobbits is, well, The Hobbit, and one Hobbit is Twilight.

MAACO Bowl Las Vegas
Arizona State vs. Boise State (-14)
In late September this would have been a tremendous match-up.  Now it pairs a .500 team going through a poorly-managed coaching change with a squad that (probably) got screwed by the BCS.

The only way ASU has a chance in this one is if the Sun Devil team that beat USC by 21 shows up and Boise comes out angry and flat instead of angry and motivated by their BCS snub. Unfortunately for the Sun Devils, that ASU team is dead and buried in the Arizona desert, and Chris Petersen and Kellen Moore are too good at what they do.

Boise 41, ASU 24.

3 ½ Hobbits. Hey, Moore is a great QB and this is his final game. I expect big things. Plus, did you know ASU’s quarterback is 6’8”? I’m going to tune in just to see that!

Holiday Bowl
Cal vs. Texas (-3)
You call it the Holiday Bowl, I call it the Honestly, We Have No Idea Who Will Lyles Is Bowl or the Why Do 5-Star Recruits Want to Play For These Guys? Bowl.

Cal ended the year on an uptick, and Zach Maynard actually looked like a decent quarterback. Texas is really young, with 18 freshmen seeing significant playing time. And the Longhorns offense is the definition of mediocre. I like the Bears’ offense against the ‘Horns’ defense better than I like Texas’ offense against Cal’s defense, so I’ll take Cal outright.

Cal 24, Texas 21.

3 Hobbits. The Holiday Bowl is almost always entertaining, and Cal has a couple of really good wide receivers in Keenan Allen and Marvin Jones. And, according to sources within the Cal program, Allen and Maynard are brothers. Crazy, right?

Alamo Bowl
Washington vs. Baylor (-9.5)
Stewart Mandel of SI.com is picking the Huskies to win outright because Heisman winners typically struggle in bowl games. Plus, they lose about a week of preparation due to the whirlwind media tour immediately following the ceremony.

It’s a fair point.

I would counter that Nick Holt’s defense is the cure for what ails any opposing offense, and that since this game is being played in San Antonio, the Bears are the de facto home team. And Baylor is definitely not the Nebraska team the Huskies beat last year in the Holiday Bowl. The Cornhuskers were flat and unmotivated, and UW took advantage. Baylor, on the other hand, is in the midst of a dream season. They should come out firing on all cylinders.

I also expect the Huskies to play well on offense. Baylor’s defense will give up points, for sure, and there’s no denying that Keith Price and Chris Polk are very good players. I think the Huskies can score enough to cover, but they will have no answer for RG3.

Baylor 45, Washington 37.

4 Hobbits. Heisman winner Robert Griffin III of Baylor takes on Nick Holt’s putrid Husky defense. That’s must see TV.

Sun Bowl
Utah vs. Georgia Tech (-3)
I don’t know what the over/under in this game is, but I’d take the under. Georgia Tech, like Oregon, has struggled when teams get time to prepare for their option attack. And Utah’s offense…well, let’s just say that no one is scared of a team that scored just 14 points at home against Colorado.

I really like Utah’s defense in this one. With a month to get ready for the option, I think they’ll play well, force a couple of turnovers and give their offense some easy scoring chances (not that they’ll convert all of those chances, but still). Give me the Utes, outright.

Utah 16, Georgia Tech 13.

2 Hobbits. Won’t be a lot of offense in this one.

Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl
UCLA vs. Illinois (-2.5)
Both teams fired their head coaches at the end of the regular season. Both are consistently under-achieving programs. But only one of these teams cancelled a practice this week because 90% of the players ditched like it was Senior Day in high school.

That team was UCLA, so give me Illinois minus everything.

Illinois 30, UCLA 16.

0 Hobbits. Seriously, don’t watch this game. Life is too short to waste 3 ½ hours on something this pointless. If you watch this game, congratulations, you’re officially a degenerate. Welcome to the club!

Rose Bowl
Oregon (-6) vs. Wisconsin
We’ll have a full preview of this one next Thursday. Ooh, a cliffhanger. How exciting!

5 Hobbits. Duh.

Fiesta Bowl
Stanford vs. Oklahoma State (-3.5)
Remember how Oregon’s fast-paced offense got its athletes in space and shredded the Cardinal for 53 points? Well, Okie State’s offense is every bit as good as Oregon’s, and unless Stanford’s defense magically got faster, I don’t see how the hold the Cowboys under 40.

Still, Stanford’s offense is good enough to put up some points, too, provided they don’t turn it over five times like they did against the Ducks. And if OSU is still suffering a hangover from “getting screwed” by the BCS, Andrew Luck and the Cardinal will take advantage.

I think Luck will play well in his final college game, and I expect the Cardinal to move the ball with their punishing rushing attack. But I don’t see how their defense holds up against OSU’s fast-paced attack. Eventually Oklahoma State will get one more stop than Stanford and win a close one.

OSU 45, Stanford 42.

4 ½ Hobbits. This game is an embarrassment of riches on the offensive side of the ball. If both offenses are clicking, this will be a classic.

Season totals
67-23 straight up
54-37 against the spread